The Realities of Cemeteries and Perpetual Care
“The graves don’t encroach. Now, some of the older ones… there was a rock there, so we just moved it this way, and now they’re going all different circles.”
In this section, Sally breaks down the different kinds of cemeteries you’ll find: from large perpetual-care places to private family plots. She recalls the gravity of decision-making when land use changes, like the Fallinsby incident in West Virginia where hundreds of graves were exhumed to make way for a road. Perpetual care isn’t just a nice-sounding promise; it’s a financial mechanism that helps keep grounds tidy for generations. And she doesn’t shy away from the less-glamorous realities: the precision of grave layouts, the sometimes rocky digging, and the emotional weight of families navigating loss in a landscape that’s constantly shifting: literally.
The Human Side of Burial, Cremation, and Pre-Planning
“Pre-arranging your own and taking that burden off of whoever will be there at the funeral home… having that locked in so that they don’t have to ever wonder if they’re doing what I wanted.”
This section zooms in on how families cope with the process: before and after the service. Sally emphasizes why pre-arrangement is the kind of gift you give your loved ones: it locks in prices, reduces last-minute chaos, and can make end-of-life plans feel less overwhelming during an already overwhelming time. She also talks about cremation as a flexible option that can still honor a life with services, memorials, or family gatherings, just in a different format. And she shares the power of a big, communal funeral, the Charlie Kirk service being a recent example of how funerals can become a powerful public moment for closure, no matter one’s views. The takeaway? It’s about helping the living process their loss, in whatever form feels right.
Brace for the Bizarre (But Beautiful) Side of the Trade
“There were times when a dove release or a butterfly release could be absolutely stunning, and then there were the logistics—hawks circling, butterflies dying in transit, or the dove not making it to the sky.”
Sally rounds out the conversation with the lighter, yet equally human, side of funeral work. She recalls dove releases at gravesides (with the family choosing to release the bird that represents the deceased and sometimes a Trinity release) and the unpredictable moments that come with circus-like elements at services. She also opens up about pet cemeteries and the heart-wrenching grief families feel when a faithful companion passes. And yes, the AV plug: a practical, slightly comic detail that somehow became a memorable acronym in the prep room. The point is clear: beyond the solemn routines are the moments that remind us death isn’t just about endings: it’s about memory, ritual, and care.
If you’ve ever wondered what really goes on behind the doors of a funeral home, this conversation pulls back the curtain with warmth, wit, and a lot of hard-earned wisdom. From the nitty-gritty of vaults and disinterments to the surprisingly hopeful world of pre-planning and memorials, you’ll never look at a cemetery, or a funeral, quite the same way again. Watch the video to hear Sally’s stories in her own voice and get the full, unvarnished tour through the heartbeat of Appalachian funeral culture.
